Well...here we go.

In one week - on Thursday, June 14 - I will finally meet the internal organ that has been facebooking and tweeting for the past year and a half. The internal organ that I've been waiting for for four and a half years.
This has been a rollercoaster of a year so far. Back in January, the transplant team at Barnes called and told me I was part of a large chain of donors. They found a match, which as most of you know was highly unlikely. Because of my crazy high antibody level, I would only be compatible with 3 out of 100 people. Getting that taste of being somewhat close to a transplant - it was a blessing and a curse. I was out of my mind excited. But then, the chain got broken and it seemed like the kidney that was a perfect match for me was yanked out of my reach. I went from pure elation to pure devastation. And...to make it worse, my family also knew and I think they were more upset than I was. I hated seeing that.

So when the transplant office called again a couple of weeks later to tell me I was in another chain, Brian and I decided to keep it to ourselves. I couldn't stand the thought of getting our parents excited again and then have to make that call that it didn't work out again. Good thing too...the second chain was canceled as well.

A third chain came and went, so when Barnes called in April to tell me about a paired exchange, I was very cautious. Only shared it with Brian and even then, we kind of just brushed it aside. However, this was a little different. This time around, it was just a paired exchange. So what that means is that there is an alturistic donor out there (someone who literally walks in to the hospital and says "hey, I have an extra kidney - any takers?") who is giving to Patient A. Patient A has a donor that can't for whatever reason donate to them, but is willing to donate to someone if Patient A can receive a kidney. Patient A's donor is a perfect match for me and is donating to me because the alturistic donor is giving to Patient A. This is all thanks to the National Kidney Registry. Show them some love: kidneyregistry.org.

So the call came mid-April and we went through some preliminary testing. That was all clear, so they said - let's schedule for June 14 and go ahead and wait until May 31 for final crossmatch and testing. So Brian and I had to patiently wait the entire month of May - not really telling anyone because of that fear of it falling through.

So last Thursday, May 31, we went in for final testing and appointments with the docs. Everything looked really good and yesterday I got final confirmation that all tests were negative - which in the transplant world is really great! Negative means no reaction between mine and my potential donors blood.

I have allowed myself to get excited. To enjoy the thoughts of freedom, thoughts of overflowing energy, thoughts of not pushing and pulling myself through my day, just to get home and collapse. My co-worker Erin told me something today that really made me reflect on all of these emotions I'm feeling. She said something along the lines of "we forget to enjoy the excited of things for fear that they will be taken away." That line has been resonating in my head all night and I am now bound and determined to enjoy this feeling, even though there are little voices in my head telling me to not be too excited because there are lots of things that can go wrong. I am choosing to ignore those and feel excited!

The next week will fly by - I only have three more dialysis treatments. THREE.
That means only six more needle sticks. Only 9 more hours of sitting in that awful chair. I can manage that - no problem!

As I always say...I'm one day closer to my transplant today than I was yesterday. And now...less than 7 days. Holy Toast.

Here is the video I made - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRc2XKyXtuc

I'll keep you posted.

Love and kidneys,
Emily